Foundational Vinyasa Teacher Training - 200 hours, Full- Time
This is the fourth of a five part series - read on and stay tuned for post-training reflections!
Week 4: The End Of The Beginning
And just like that, it’s all over. Who would have thought 200 hours could go so quickly, and also be so eye-opening, maybe even life-changing?
To say I'm still riding the high of teaching my first yoga class would be an understatement. We spent the last 3 days of our training teaching our assessment classes (and partaking and observing when we weren't teaching). I was scheduled to teach on the last day, and while that meant extra time to practice and listen to the feedback everyone was receiving, it also gave the nerves plenty of time to build. On Friday I felt fine. Saturday morning I started to get a little nervy, but still mostly excited. Saturday afternoon I was terrified and on Saturday night I burst into tears, convinced that I couldn't do this thing anymore. Nope, too hard, not for me. But of course, I did do it.
I woke up Sunday morning feeling nice and jittery. Practicing my sequence and also participating in the class before mine helped to keep me grounded, but even so I could feel my heart trying to jump out of my mouth in downward dog. Then somehow, miraculously, about 5 minutes before I was about to start teaching, my nerves settled. They didn’t disappear by any means, just took residency a little lower down in my stomach rather than gripping my heart. I felt calm and in control, and with that and a big ol’ smile on my face, I taught my very first yoga class. And I loved it! Sure, I spoke a little too fast at times and forgot to tell my “corporate beginners” that they could come back to child's pose if they needed (whoops), but I did the damn thing, and I had so much fun! Teaching to my new, incredibly supportive friends/fellow teacher trainees was such a wonderful experience, I literally hopped, skipped, jumped and danced out of the room, full of beans and ready to do it all again!
And then the tears came. Ha. But really. Somehow (still no idea how I managed this) I'd not cried in the group setting at all in the course. Yet. But all that changed when, after the last class, we joined together for the last time to share what we would be taking away from the last 4 weeks. I'd never wanted to share less with the group. Always the first one to put my hand up, I could feel myself on the verge of tears and was terrified of breaking down. I managed to avoid speaking for as long as I could, instead listening and starting to well up as the women around me shared openly and honestly about their experience over the last 4 weeks and what they would carry with them in this next chapter.
I was the first to speak on Day One, and share how I came to be there, and the last to speak on Day 25. I burst into tears and felt the overwhelming support and love of the group as I told them that at the beginning of the course, I'd said that I'd just ended up there. That the timing had been right, I loved yoga, and there I was! Simple as that. The truth was, I was lost. I'd lost that feeling of joy, of doing something you love so much it makes your heart want to explode. And that's what I was taking away from these last 4 weeks. That tear-inducing, want-to-talk-to-strangers-about-it, high-on-life feeling of doing and sharing something you’re passionate about.
Now for another fresh start. As InYoga teacher Cristina said to me during the training, “you don't leave the yoga bubble, it just gets bigger”. Here’s to expanding the bubble and staying in this space of wonder and delight.